Good News and Bad News

tommy-chen

:D 看到一个笑话,让大家也乐乐
  N  h. J- e3 Y! f7 IThe soldiers had been marching and fighting,they were very dirty ,hot and tired.
2 `  J  D/ ~6 Q4 G5 COne day,the General announced:"My men,I have some good news and some bad news for you
; S# T& s8 u4 n, C6 y3 C+ mwhich one would you like first?" "the good news!" they all shouted. "OK." said the General "the good
news is that you will  each be receiving a complete change of clouthing"
) m9 E% K7 u! k7 D- K! y5 X7 v/ j"Hurrah!"chorused the soldiers."and now for the bad news,Jack,you will change with John.John,you will change
  e( T$ l& g4 p% J+ owith Tom.Tom,you will change with***.and *** will change with .......

goldfish

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
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After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets two shot glasses, fills one with water the other with whiskey.
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4 k& X6 k1 D. \$ f- y0 w1 oShe gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.
She says "I want you to see this."
$ L3 I+ ?; N( ]1 f) wShe puts a worm in the water it swims around.
8 p* }) L* ~/ A3 R8 {6 i# E2 RShe puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.
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' k& ^1 l4 T2 G6 t& \' s- R  KSternly the wife remarks, "So what do you have to say about this experiment?"

3 w/ x0 S5 ?7 B& Y) Y) D' N! _0 rCooly the husband replies, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

tommy-chen

我也刚看到一个,顶楼上!!

ohye$ok$ ,再来一个
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOYOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”

. j$ k" d7 F+ r日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”
:D :D :D

tommy-chen

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存？”
5 P# G" f- g8 ^. I中国银行　　——BC （Bank of China）——“不存。”
9 ?- K$ g* S: M- V中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊，不存”
( ~& s) @, g- w$ {$ H中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
+ S& t3 Y8 U$ V. U招商银行　　——CMBC——“存吗？？白痴！”
  w3 [- h* G9 A  F! {兴业银行　　——CIB——“存一百”
4 Z! N. R, u+ @3 W/ p. \北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不？”
( M2 Y2 n: m7 z. c3 D9 y& {汇丰银行　　——（HSBC）还是不存”