Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.

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& A9 B" ~5 q9 \" l  E6 f*Divorce:
* u' G( L7 g1 N+ k*Future tense of marriage*

5 b+ C  W+ b; hCigarette:
% C' W# a1 p" Q7 C; s$ K*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *

Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
of either.*
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. v, u; ^  |4 X! LCompromise:
0 Y. q5 N0 b' n. c*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*
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) t( R4 s' S# }# l7 {. eDictionary:
*A place where success comes before work.*
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$ M* p# Z  h# g; F3 XConference Room:
*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*


Classic:
: p; Q# `$ ?% K2 a) M  [*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
6 s% F1 @" Y; Q) s8 q: ?' |
" m8 L: _) N1 ]1 _Smile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*


! O5 D( ]8 P7 R9 h" `Office:
8 [! M* L$ k! D*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*

% p7 Z) L& w, ~# `* F/ kYawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*


) u2 r! V+ S5 K0 g- M1 `. A. xEtc:
*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
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4 a' I! F. W9 a( V: a9 s. BCommittee:
*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
5 L" u! z7 l4 \1 P6 x( x# dsit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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$ }. W# k- p: B, EExperience:
1 v4 E/ `! |3 i2 a' O*The name men give to their mistakes.*

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Atom Bomb:
1 h4 G% m0 ?. \) h  `3 n*An invention to end all inventions.*
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Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
. |* |0 u6 [6 X+ f$ G* H/ zspoken of when dead.*
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Diplomat:
. ]1 r% M7 |/ ?2 c*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*

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Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*
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Optimist:
( |  |  X5 x( V# ]6 i*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *

+ a* \% v) o! o4 T5 D# s- k
Miser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
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Father:
' V1 W+ _  Z, o) L! p*A banker provided by nature.*


Criminal:
2 U4 L( \5 K1 H+ G! H7 z*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
9 b0 G2 q4 A& T; u9 acaught.*
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$ [6 \3 p# s5 ~, Q! u# pPolitician:
*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*
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% w& d& b3 X7 h! l+ l9 X8 t( b/ p
Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.*

- D- E; m' e3 B$ Z+ E# }Boss:
4 ]3 X# D" t0 x, d*Someone who is early when you are late and late
' \1 |2 \& f+ I. G9 e" l- ]when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
2 Z5 o4 K+ G' Z! |: LI love it, the English humour!
, R) L& h$ H9 x5 q2 e/ r. zSo black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$