GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED
I always wanted to have someone to love.And now that you've come into my life...(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
Hooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.
We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
AND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
Lastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
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